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I received a request this week from a woman in Cassopolis.Marcia Steffens: Not so innocent behavior is not acceptable
Published 10:27am Wednesday, October 14, 2009I can’t honor her request due to how a newspaper works. First we don’t publish letters without names. Second, she wanted her “letter” put on the front page.
We don’t use letters to the editor on the front, nor do my opinions end up there, just news and feature stories.
Still, this woman has some good points so I am using her words today in my column, without identifying her to protect her safety.
She began with the words, “Women Beware.”
Apparently she was a victim – twice in the last year – when she was sexually assaulted by elderly men who grabbed and touched her private parts.
Instead of being meek, she wrote, “I am mad!”
“Sexual offenders are not all creepy looking strong younger men … Often these offenders are looking away from the victim at the time of the sexual attack so the touching seems innocent – as in unintentional – when it is in fact intentional.”
She goes on to say when confronted, these men will apologize and say they are sorry and act as if they are innocent.
Women will usually just “excuse these gropers,” who then go on to do the same thing to another unsuspecting women, she wrote.
“These men get their kicks by humiliating us, and outsmarting the entire system (we victims, the security officers at shopping malls, the police and the courts.
“What judge will give a harsh sentence to a man who said ‘excuse me’ for accidentally groping a woman’s butt, especially if this is his first offense?”
This letter writer went on to ask women to band together to report all sexual attacks, even though which the offender claimed to be innocent touching.
The police can’t help if these incidents are reported.
I do worry that she also suggests following the offender out to the parking lot to his vehicle and recording the license plate. That could put the woman in more danger I believe.
But telling someone at the store or calling 911 are both better suggestions.
While we are on the subject of attacks at the mall, or shopping centers, this is the season to also be on the look out for those who don’t want to tough you, but they would love to steal your purse or packages.
A friend of mine was loading her purchases into her car last holiday season. A man drove up next to her pretending to ask directions and quickly grabbed, not her body, but her purse out of the front of the shopping basket.
She was lucky in that the police eventually found her purse at the man’s house when he was being arrested for numerous crimes like this.
One change she has made, and I have also started doing, is to always put her purse into the car before unloading her groceries.
We are taught to be trusting, especially when someone needs help. That is why children are often lured by strangers with the ruse of helping the offender to find their lost dog or cat.
We need to be a little more vigilant in being aware of our surroundings, how close people are trying to get to us and if there is the possibility they could do us harm, or even just try to touch us when they have no business doing so.
We also should be aware when putting packages in our vehicle, that people could be watching.
Each year there are reports of people leaving a shopping mall and being followed home.
Forget calling on your cell phone to your friends to chat, but have one to call 911 if you are being followed. Don’t go home but do like another friend I know. She drove directly to a police department.
The person following left quickly.
The holidays should be a fun time. This will be hard in this economy, when people are struggling just to pay their bills. These rough times are sure to bring out a bad element looking to prey on the unexpected.
Protect yourself and your family and possessions.
Learn from my writer who doesn’t intend to be a victim again.
Marcia Steffens, editor of the Niles Daily Star, Cassopolis Vigilant and Edwardsburg Argus, can be reached at marcia.steffens@leaderpub.com
